Saturday, August 30, 2008

Sharing the secret with the world

Until a few months ago, I felt I have a lifelong secret that's connected to my personality and should be kept hidden inside me since it's not considered "normal". Therefore it could harm my image in general and my chances for more serious friendships and relationships. 

Well, I still feel I should not come out completely with my dual personality (I mean in my real life), but sharing my thoughts and feelings seem to help me and others to understand what's going on with ourselves and what can be achieved. On the net I've learned a lot about crossdressers, transsexuals and gender issues in general but also about kinky stuff like chastity and orgasm denial games for both males and females. I've discovered there are so many interesting and fun things that are far from being "normal" that I no longer feel I should feel ashamed about anything that crosses my mind.

Creating this blog and sharing my videos on YouTube and other places gained me an amazing amount of attention and honest talk. My videos have been viewed more than 125 000 times and hundreds of messages and comments make me certain that people are curious and pleased to read and see honest experiences. I even got nice comments from girls and that makes me very happy as I feel we are not limited to the understanding and friendliness of our own gender only. It's important since I'm into heterosexual partnerships and I'm still waiting for my ideal girl to appear in my sight. Despite my kinky experiments and unusual behavior I am pretty confident among women. I just figured there's more fun in life that just acting like one gender or another. 

New videos - but not for everyone

Anyway, if you read my blog you already know that in my feminization experience I've gone farther than just crossressing. I was thinking a lot about showing more but at first I didn't want to be too graphic. On the other hand I've got many requests even from straight but curious guys to show more. Since my female side is so kinky and shameless that she feels bad not to show what makes her - and possibly some others - so aroused, I decided to share some uncensored videos with all of you who are interested. They might be tacky or just too graphic, I hope it will not disappoint you.

YouTube is not the appropriate place for such movies so I've uploaded them to other places. You can find the links on the right at the weblinks section.

I had to have a break... my kinky experience since a good friend of mine had to moved in to my apartment. I don't know how long she'll stay but I'm not able to live continuously as Christine for some time for sure.

I wanted to be friendly and calm so a week after my last post I suspended the experiment and masturbated two or three times a week. As usual my urge to crossdress faded away and I was back to normal. 

I didn't feel upset since my friend is more important. On the other hand I happened to discover that while being a full time man with regular masturbation is so much easier but also much less pleasing and sexually satisfying than being chaste as a man and enjoying my femininity and the mini orgasms from anal stimulation. At least this is how I feel without having a sexy girlfriend who would radiate more femininity then me.

Back in the game again

While I'm still just occassionally able to dress like Christine wants, for over a week now I'm in male chastity again and playing body and anal games only. It's amazing! Whenever I see a porn scene or even just a beautiful naked girl, my body shivers and I get the same feeling in my stomach that you feel when you're in love. Of course my ability to focus on the everyday tasks has weakened at some degree as I'm experiencing an almost constant state of arousal. 

I'm going for six whole weeks in this state as I've heard that this is the ideal timeframe for experiencing the maximum effects of male chastity and the increasing arousal. After that time - they say - the body adjusts to the reduced sexual strain and you start to loose interest in sexual fantasies. And that's really not what I want! :)

As you can see I've got a lot of nice and interesting comments and tons of messages on YouTube, so next time I'm going to write about my thoughts regarding to my friendly audience.