Thursday, June 19, 2008

The beginning of the story




My feminine side and foot fetishism

I am 30+ years old male, who has a slightly oversexed female side as well. Even from my early childhood I'm passionately in love with female body and sexy feminine style, so I must have been a lesbian woman in my previous life :-) I'm neither gay nor bisexual since I'm not attracted to men in any way, so that is something else for sure. Whenever I had a girlfriend I never felt the need to express my femme side, I always lived very healthy relationships. So it seems I just always need femininity around me in one way or another.

Throughout the years I started to discover that since I have a pretty fortunate slim body, there's a way to please myself anytime with an almost perfect feminine look. I started to crossdress occassionally. I'm especially attracted to nice legs and feet, so that's what I've mainly focused on in my crossdressing sessions.

Crossdressing vs masturbation

When I had no girlfriend but needed the closeness of femininity, I often masturbated while being crossdressed. But right after having an orgasm I suddenly felt the urge to crossdress to fade completely. For 1-2 days my feminine side seemed to be gone, but then it started over again. Those mood swings made me a bit confused and I felt myself somewhat unbalanced. I tried to give up crossdressing completely but then I missed the feminine sexuality that very few girls have or capable to offer. So instead of giving up crossdressing I decided to give up masturbation or at least to reduce it significantly. 

The sex change experiment

A few months ago I've started an exciting experiment. When I am at home I live my life totally as my feminine side wishes, I give my body to that kinky slut I've always lived with in my mind. I want to see what feelings and acts come up during this period.

Luckily I'm working at home so I can dress super sexy even in working hours. I shave my whole body almost daily, so I have nice smooth skin everywhere. I paint my toenails deep red and keep them that way 24/7 in order to secretly remind myself who I am at home. I wear toerings and very thin (8 den) pantyhose or stockings. Over the years I'm trained to wear and walk in sexy sandals with 6 inch high heels, so I can wear those throughout the day every day and it keeps me aroused instead of feeling tired. I wear minidress and g-string but I do not apply makeup or wear wigs (except for taking some photos) as I never show up in public. I don't want to trick people, I just want to please myself with feminine look and feelings at home.

I call my female side Christine. I give her everything that she needs to express and please herself except for my penis, because a male orgasm would ruin the whole thing. She will not get another real man's penis either. She needs to find another way to please herself sexually...

I will keep you posted from time to time about what I do and feel regarding to this experiment. I hope some curious audience will make my efforts last as long as possible.

34 comments:

Cara said...

I love this blog so much.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for posting...its encouraging to see you post in print what i'm feeling inside. i think you're beautiful...and i'm a straight guy too.

Caramel Black said...

You're very welcome. I'll elaborate on what I love so much about this blog and it's beautiful contents as thoroughly as I can.

Dominique said...

Wow.. You helped me understand my feelings and my own experience through you. I too know I have a deep feminine mind but it is put aside for a period of time after I masturbate. I too stay in feminine clothing every moment I am at home. I keep my toenails painted deep red and I wear toe rings and ankle bracelet 24/7. I have recently started treating myself to tanning sessions where I tan in a thong . Thats always been a fantasy of mine to have a deep thong tan. I keep myself shaved from the stomach down. I am afraid I will be noticed if I shave my upper body. Maybe you could check out my videos and let me know how to improve.
http://www.youtube.com/user/sexyfeetinheels
I admire you greatly and would love to stay in touch.
Dominique

Caramel Black said...

I don't think that you're over-sexed - just very sexy. I know crossdressers and transvestites whom are gay but my "gaydar" hasn't gone up with you. I think many of us are bi-curious but that's another subject all together. I'm also attracted to nice legs and feet and some of my past grlfriends thought that mine were prettier and more feminine thatn theirs (two genetic girlfriends and I have had sex often with me in girl-mode).

I understand the post-orgasmic uncomfortable feeling you've described, but those days have passed for me. I'm 43 and moving toward transitionng full-time so I guess since I've been at it longer, I'm very comfortable now.

Christine is a gorgeous young lady and I'm glad she's come out to play. Dominique is extremely sexy too.

Giggig said...

Hi,i'm a man frrom italy,i love your feet,are really sexy in high heels...i'd like to have other photo and video of you and your feet!! you can send me on giggig@hotmail.it....i wait for you,i can play with webcam if you want.bye.

Anonymous said...

another thing you could think of would be to go to a nail salon and have your nails and toes professionally painted as it is the most fem thing you can do. and i love that red but pink looks very good also.

Caroletv31 said...

I love all that you write here - You're SO so sexy and SO feminine - A natural femininty - I've wrestled with my feminine side for years - With my self guilt for years - But now I know WHO I am and Carole for me exists and must continue to exist - She's stronger than I am and she must be able to live the life that she needs - As for the sexual side of all this - You're so right - It's incredibly exciting - sexciting - SO different - I just LUV being Carole - I just LUV your blog - You're SO incrdibly beautiful you MUST continue - kisses

Anonymous said...

Hello Christine..
I hope you are still able to connect with Christine. I relate to you so much. I have experienced the same things you have. I love cross dressing, I shave daily from toes to upper chest and I get absolutely thrilled when I am shaved and my toenails are painted nicely and I have on my ankle bracelets and toe rings. I have recently started spraying myself with a sweet aromatic feminine cologne as soon as I get home from work. I become Dominique the moment I get home from work. I was formerly contacting you as sexyfeetinheels but after falling back into the frequent masturbation routine, I fell out of my feminine desire as you had eluded to.
I am two weeks into not masturbating and I am so extremely feminine feeling. I am enjoying the tanning booth getting a thong tan and just the feminine feeling I get tanning. I am sitting here in my short mini skirt heels and thong hoping we can communicate. Please email me at dominiqueinheels@yahoo.com

VirtuaGrl said...

Ah, Christine, I totally understand your hesitation with pursuing the illusion to face and make-up. Like you, about ten years ago, I spent as much time as possible catering to my feminine side (God I wish my body looked as good now as yours does and mine did then). I regularly shaved and dressed as femininely as possible in private. Back when I was dressing regularly, and even making expeditions into the public world, I tried as hard as I could to present the most feminine appearance possible and worked extremely hard on my make-up. Over time the scent of make-up became as intoxicating and arousing as the feel of stockings on freshly shaven legs. But in several years of dressing there were only a handful of times I could look back at myself in the mirror and not see my own ugly mug in make-up. There were a few times (most often when someone else did my make-up for me) I looked back in at myself in the mirror and thought “Wow! Who is that gorgeous woman?” but what I can tell you is that by all accounts, more often than not when I did my own make-up the average person on the street thought the same thing when they saw me (or so I was told by some friends).

I tell you this because it’s obvious you put a lot of work into presenting the most feminine image as possible and it kills me that it stops at the neck. I can’t imagine that without a little practice you couldn’t present as gorgeous a face as the rest of your body. Please, please, please consider it. There are some fantastic resources available to help you get started. I’d be happy to be one of them and provide honest, private reviews of your attempts and appearance. Feel free to e-mail me anytime.

Anonymous said...

i like your beautiful feet and your pretty legs

i want see more of you

i want have sex with you always

andy_fl said...

i think u've beautifull legs and fantastic feet!
i love woman feet, but i must confess i'd love to smelle and lick ur feet!

Anonymous said...

just great what you do...i wish i had the balls do do it...

Anonymous said...

You said, "She (Christine) will not get another man's real penis either."

I wouldn't be so sure of that. Following this path will lead to surprises. It could be the most thrilling, liberating, and fulfilling life you could ever imagine.

Fucking yourself with a dildo is a substitute for the real thing. The deal is, very few men are worthy of Christine. Finding a worthy man would probably be well-nigh impossible. But I think, as the years go by, Christine's true desires will become manifest.

I can totally understand how you aren't attracted to men. Yet... obviously, Christine wants to get fucked. How to reconcile the two? I will be following your blog with interest. I admire your experimental attitude.

Anonymous said...

I can completely relate to what you are doing here!! You are very lucky. And your feminine side is lovely.

Anonymous said...

Did I say lovely? I meant sexy !!! Soooooooo sexy !!!

Helen Rankin said...

Wow you are a stunner great legs feet and i love the manicures toes and fingers. I have dressed as a woman for over 45 years an love it so much.

KylieM said...

I am just the same.

After wanking while crossdressed I suddenly then dont feel like dressing. Sometimes dont feel like it for day or so. However sometimes a couple hours or so and in the mood again!

Anonymous said...

I am a straight man, 34 years old & have also done the experimental cross dress thing for longer than I can remember.
Something you may want to try that is totaly femanine, is a corset. I dont want you to strangle your intestines with it but just wear one for a few weeks day & night to get used to the feeling of a realy femanine figure. I wish my body looked half as good as yours when I am dressed up but I am not so lucky.
Perhaps as a next step to the female experiance you should try wearing makeup & a wig so you feel like every other ofice girl who has to dress up for work on a daily basis.
You are truly blessed with a sexy body & I am almost ashamed to say that while watching your videos you turned me on but I thought Christine might get a kick out of knowing how others feel about her.

I have never told anyone else about this but I want to share it with you.
I too would dress up as my female self, full wig & makeup, corset, expensive & sexy lingerie, nice dresses & female outfits, spend days and nites on end dressed this way then after a week pleasure myself analy & touching myself everywhere.
One day I decided to go to a BDSM parlour that also offered a crossdressing service so I could let a beautiful woman dress me instead of just doing it myself.
The plan was to have her dress me, treat me like a girlfriend then do me with a strap on.
To my surprise I was told that my interests would best be served by a girl other than the one I originaly picked.
She fluffed over me for hours & sat with me & stroked my legs & kissed my nipples till I shuddered all over & nearly passed out. I felt more like a girl than I ever had before. Then she revealed that she was a transvestite & by then I was so horny in a femanine way that I just turned myself over to her complete controll. To my surprise I stroked her huge penis & actualy went down on her first. Then she lovingly laid me back on the bed & removed my panties, lifted my lgs up & entered me with her huge penis but she was gentle & loving & we kissed as we fucked and I made the most girly noises I have ever heard while looking into her beautiful girly face. I dont think I could get any closer to a female orgasm than I did that day & I can tell you now it was a million times better than the plastic fantastic I had been using for so long. As I said I am straight & love women & will never give up the sex I have with women, but several times I have postponed my male life for a month or two just to spend a few nights in the arms of my transgender girlfriend.
I have seen her three times in total & she doesnt charge me for the service anymore. When I am ready to see her she comes and stays with me for a week or two & we have a fantastic time togethre just the girls. She has never asked me to use my male side with her ever & told me she never would as she loves to be my special girlfriend only & doesnt want me to ever use her penis with her. She hardly even touches it & makes me feel as if I dont have one at all.
Anyway, thanks alot. This really helped & I love your site. I hope you find what you are looking for.
Christine you are as sexy as hell & I would love to be a man for you but I would also love to be a girlfriend to you & just sit around the house & watch DVDs.

warinheels said...

Hey,
I find your feet extremeley well kept and wanted to know if you share your secrets to makin those feet look so damn good. I use footcream twice a day and the callouses just suck it up. I shave the callouses and put lotion on them, they look good for a day and then bam, lookin for moisture. I love high heels and I like your video, are you focused on what the feet and shoes mean or what the plastic dick is saying. Sometimes I can come with just shoes and a good vibe, lookin at how sexy my feet look and feeling that tug, how bout you?

Nirav said...

i am male i wish to be female i like to were female sexy dresses like bra and penty skirts dresss sarees...in short i like to be female and i want boobs and pussy also...

Anonymous said...

I can relate to everything about you. I feel the same way when i dress but it is the nylons and the heels that do it. I am a very handsome man and always have had beautiful girlfriends ,I am 100% straight but those heels and hose get me every time. Be who YOU want to be.

Anonymous said...

What is your feet and shoe size? Are there other photos and vids of you? could you post them to my emal willyveelim@gmail.com. Thanks.

tonymilan123 said...

I enjoy your blogs. I especially enjoyed the blog about you sucking a man's penis for the first time.. how you are not attracted to men..but you are turned on by being a woman..and assuming the role of a woman.. i think it's all about power and being selfish. woman are selfish and self centered beings.

LisaMichaels said...

Christine, You are inspiration for all of us straight crossdressers. Keep the experiment going and keep yout experiances coming. I also refrain from masterbation. I enjoy staying dressed up all day more than the few seconds of an orgasm.

Anonymous said...

oh my dear. Im a man married man but i have been doing the same like you since many years ago. i love female feet so i used to paint my toenails and use my wife heels....!! wow and i watch my sexy feet in a mirror and i got a niiiice excitation!!! we could be happy playing together!!!

Anonymous said...

I feel the same way as you do in a lot of areas... so much that I have experimented with myself as well. I would like some advice, however. How can I get my legs more "feminine"? I have big thighs. I am not fat, thats just where all my weight goes. Can you recommend any way for me to tone up my legs overall to get them sexier, without getting a ton of bulk from muscle? Please email me at dark_stealth16@hotmail.com Thanks

Natelie Nicole said...

I so love your blog!! and I have exactly the same feelings as you and foot and leg fetish too!...i am also experimenting with myself, not gay but love the feelin of the female love making, motion, feeling and all...please leave a kind comment on my pictures and videos here..
keep the fantastic pictures and videos coming gf!

xx
Natelie

http://www.flickr.com/photos/11973724@N03/

sissy said...

OOOh me and you we are the same.
I feel the same with you and i do the same things with you the past 2 years. I am 26 years old.
I am from Greece and my English is not too good. But i try to explain my feelings.
I watch porn and i like the way who feel the woman, I want to live this expieriense. I dress every day like a girl with a sexy clothes, high heels, nylons, strings ...
the weekends i paint my nails red and shave my body, i love to play with my nipples and my ass, i have fetish with the legs and high heels. I have one big dildo and one but-plug. Everytime who play like a girl i end with my peni nad then i dont to play again like a girl, but after a few hours i want again..
I am like you,
Continue your work with this blog.

Anonymous said...

hi your explantiion is so cute

Anonymous said...

I think your face is very pretty, love your sex toes especiakky in nylons and love how u massage your tired nylon toes, spreading your toes wide...sos increible nena

Anonymous said...

hi,
i am kjkk,and i love you feelings even i would say that you touched my heart, and i wished to be like same too, i wear bikini every night to morning, to fulfill my desires while not being a real woman, so guide me what more i should do for my desires, thanks here is my email,
www,cindysexxxy247@yahoo.com

Anonymous said...

Hi Christine,

Loved your pictures.. Was intrigued that your story is close to my experience. I've always considered myself straight. Guys have never done anything for me as far as being sexually exciting. I must have been a lesbian in a past life too! LOL! In an ideal world, I'd want a female body & a lesbian girlfriend. If I were 20, I'd go for full GRS surgery. Just wasn't aware of my options in the pre internet age. I've always been in touch with my feminine side. From age 10 would wear my moms clothes when she was out. Don't think she ever caught on? Always felt & wished I was a woman. I've always looked more feminine than masculine. I quite often get mistakenly called "Miss"even at age 50. I secretly take it as a compliment even though most people are little embarrassed that they've made a mistake. LOL! My first wife got turned on by dressing me up in her clothes since she was bisexual. I never suggested it? Should have taken advantage of it more often! Entirely her idea. My second wife of 7 years passed away. I was left to raising my son on my own. I then kind of started re-exploring my feminine side. In part because there was this huge void in my life of not having a female significant other. Just haven't had much luck finding the right woman. I would get femmed up in private, but never around my son. Kind of felt like I had to be mom & dad rolled into one! Have been pretty much doing the same routine you have for 20 years with the exception of painting the toe nails. Looks like fun! Please share your secrets on how you maintain such passable legs? All the best, Renee

Anonymous said...

In response to the above blog comment posted January 6, 2015. Forgot to leave a contact e-mail. Feel free to write: reneestims@outlook.com