My feminine side and foot fetishism
I am 30+ years old male, who has a slightly oversexed female side as well. Even from my early childhood I'm passionately in love with female body and sexy feminine style, so I must have been a lesbian woman in my previous life :-) I'm neither gay nor bisexual since I'm not attracted to men in any way, so that is something else for sure. Whenever I had a girlfriend I never felt the need to express my femme side, I always lived very healthy relationships. So it seems I just always need femininity around me in one way or another.
Throughout the years I started to discover that since I have a pretty fortunate slim body, there's a way to please myself anytime with an almost perfect feminine look. I started to crossdress occassionally. I'm especially attracted to nice legs and feet, so that's what I've mainly focused on in my crossdressing sessions.
Crossdressing vs masturbation
When I had no girlfriend but needed the closeness of femininity, I often masturbated while being crossdressed. But right after having an orgasm I suddenly felt the urge to crossdress to fade completely. For 1-2 days my feminine side seemed to be gone, but then it started over again. Those mood swings made me a bit confused and I felt myself somewhat unbalanced. I tried to give up crossdressing completely but then I missed the feminine sexuality that very few girls have or capable to offer. So instead of giving up crossdressing I decided to give up masturbation or at least to reduce it significantly.
The sex change experiment
A few months ago I've started an exciting experiment. When I am at home I live my life totally as my feminine side wishes, I give my body to that kinky slut I've always lived with in my mind. I want to see what feelings and acts come up during this period.
Luckily I'm working at home so I can dress super sexy even in working hours. I shave my whole body almost daily, so I have nice smooth skin everywhere. I paint my toenails deep red and keep them that way 24/7 in order to secretly remind myself who I am at home. I wear toerings and very thin (8 den) pantyhose or stockings. Over the years I'm trained to wear and walk in sexy sandals with 6 inch high heels, so I can wear those throughout the day every day and it keeps me aroused instead of feeling tired. I wear minidress and g-string but I do not apply makeup or wear wigs (except for taking some photos) as I never show up in public. I don't want to trick people, I just want to please myself with feminine look and feelings at home.
I call my female side Christine. I give her everything that she needs to express and please herself except for my penis, because a male orgasm would ruin the whole thing. She will not get another real man's penis either. She needs to find another way to please herself sexually...
I will keep you posted from time to time about what I do and feel regarding to this experiment. I hope some curious audience will make my efforts last as long as possible.